The first thing you’ll say is: “Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.”

It won’t work, but you’ll say it. For Amazon has released the Amazon Echo, a product simultaneously so naff you will never buy it and so right that you soon will. Maybe a couple of generations down the road.

For speaking of generations and actually also speaking of speaking, the Amazon Echo is another Star Trek-style invention. Just as you talk to Siri on your iPhone, you chat to Echo in your house. Here’s how Amazon sees this happening but stick around for an alternative view:

Naturally, that video has been parodied and naturally some of the parodies are very good – most especially this quite subtle, underplayed one. The funny thing is, I’m more persuaded by this than Amazon’s original. Mind you, that is partly because it’s also edited better.

You can’t buy the Amazon Echo yet: it’s only in the USA and currently not really on sale. Instead, you have to request an invitation to have Amazon try to sell you it. More details and the start of non-stop pressure to buy on the official site – which says it will cost $199 or $99 for Amazon Prime users.

Funny. It’s just a couple of days since we saw the Onyx OnBeep go on sale: the chunky new wearable technology that looks like it will one day become the communicator pins from Star Trek: The Next Generation. If we get a Trek invention next week, cross your fingers for warp drive.

Google Maps updated for iOS

I am alone in this. I find Google Maps really confusing. Confusing to the point of frustration: if I could explain what goes wrong for me, I’d understand what goes wrong and it wouldn’t then go wrong. But just things like telling it I want to go from here to there and I want to walk, I have found myself stabbing at the screen on my iPhone in annoyance.

That would be fine if I liked Apple Maps better and actually for the most part, I do. I like the look, I understand how to use it, I now default to using it first.

But there often comes a time when I have to use something else too. I say that to you about Google Maps being annoying and the time that comes to mind is when I was late for somewhere and I simply could not get this bloody thing to grasp that I wanted directions. And the reason I wanted directions, the reason I was late, was that Apple Maps had only put me down in approximately the right place. I could not see where to go and neither Apple Maps would help me nor would Google Maps step in to save the day.

Common received wisdom is that Google Maps always saves the day. I’ve seen it described as the mapping system that Apple wishes it had. I expect that all the praise is right for things like the level of mapping detail and for the routes it works out, but hand on heart I turn to it as the final option.

I’m a man and still I’d sooner wind down the car window and ask someone for help.

So I was pleased by the news that Google Maps has been updated for iOS and specifically that what has changed is the design. Here’s an example of its new look on iPad:

It’s been iOS 7-and-8-ified, hasn’t it? That’s nice. I like this look.

But I am still confused. I tried it out on a route I used to drive regularly, from my home to BBC Television Centre in White City, London. Had some problems understanding how to do this but the first thing it did was show me the White City area on a map and actually that sent me off down a rabbit hole. I wondered whether TVC was still standing so I tapped on the button to change from the default map view to the satellite image.

Wallop.

Perfect satellite imagery of my home.

Not White City.

Okay, I typed in White City again this time it took me to somewhere in the USA.

I feel like it’s me, that I am just failing to read the instructions but Google Maps is going back into a Miscellaneous folder on my iPad and iPhone.

But it’s free and everybody else loves it, go take a look for yourself.

Clickhole: This Incredible Sleep System has Maximised my Efficency

No comment.

The fact is, human beings just didn’t evolve to sleep eight hours at a time. They evolved to do something like this sleep block system I now swear by.

After work on Thursday, I go home right away and do 10-minute rest increments—10 minutes asleep, 10 minutes awake—on and off for 14 hours. Now, this sleep doesn’t officially “count” toward any block. In the system, it’s actually called independent sleep. But it’s crucial, because when I wake up, it’s Monday again. Not the next Monday. The previous Monday. All the work I did that week? Never happened. But do I feel rested? Very.

This Incredible Sleep System Has Maximized My Efficiency – Will Haney, ClickHole (7 November 2014)

Read the full and dizzying piece.

Site recommendation: The Wirecutter

This isn’t always the case but it nearly is. And it’s worth trying every single time. If you want to buy some new computer or other hardware but you don’t know what’s the best thing to get, go to The Wirecutter.

It just tells you. This is the best – and why. This is the best for that budget, this is the best at this or that. It’s very straight and straightforward so the only problem I’ve found is that it’s American. If you’re visiting it from the UK as I am, the site recognises that and offers to swap all the links to be Amazon.co.uk instead of Amazon.com. That’s very smart and nicely done.

But sometimes you’ll find things it recommends just aren’t available here. So it’s not a guaranteed route to get everything, but for narrowing choices, for seeing what options there are, for judging what features are worth what to you, it’s good. For the many times when it does have exactly what you need and you can get it here, it’s excellent.

The first thing you’ll say is “Picard to Enterprise”

Or possibly “Sisko to Ops”, depending on the specific cut of your anorak. But you will think Star Trek when you see this, exactly the way you did when you first saw a flip phone. This is a Starfleet communicator available and working now – if you live in the USA. Doubtlessly it will come to the UK, hopefully it will slim down a lot, quietly I fancy it in a Starfleet badge design and, oh, I preferred it when I was being all serious productivity with you.

The fat Starfleet Communicator – sorry, the Onyx OnBeep – only on sale in the USA and costs $99. See the official site for details.

You’re your own boss

When I went freelance in the 1990s, very many people enthused at me about what it would like not being a boss. I knew they were wrong: it was more like I was taking on 17 bosses, each of them paying me a tiny bit.

All these years on, though, they were right. And I was wrong. (Would you look at that? A man saying he was wrong. Songs will be sung of this day.)

I have all these clients, all these editors, most people have just the one boss. But we are all working for ourselves and as easy as it can be to let the boss decide everything, as even easier as it is to just complain about that man or woman, you will be more productive and you will feel better when you realise that you are in charge.

Let’s not get silly about it. Punching your boss in the face is not empowerment, it’s unemployment and a possible legal case. But take everything your job requires you to do and look at it all is if you are the manager. Which bit does your client, your boss, really need? What bits are quick wins you can knock out in ten minutes? What’s the stuff that you know is just bollocks and busy work? And what is the stuff that you can do that needs help from other people? Best yet: what’s missing? What more can you do that will be really good for you, your boss, your company and your future pay rises?

Look at your job not as what you have to do or as who you are, but instead as this business that you are running. You have clients and customers, you have resources, if you use them like that instead of constantly reacting to whatever happens next or whoever demands things the loudest, you’ll feel in control. It’s the best feeling because it’s real, you’ll feel in control because you are.

Mind you, keep doing that and you could end up being promoted to boss. Or go freelance.

In this week’s newsletter… November 7, 2014

You’re reading the website, now get the email newsletter. Read this week’s one here and then sign up to get it for free.

This week’s edition includes very serious productivity advice and rather silly technology news. Even I went straight to the silly and I wrote this. But enjoy that and then look at the serious stuff, okay? I think it’ll help.

Nervous habit

few minutes before you step into the situation that makes you nervous slow down. Walk slower to the meeting place. Move slower. Even stop for a minute if you like and stand still.

Then breathe through your nose. Take a little deeper breaths than you usually do. Make sure you breathe with your belly. Not with your chest (a common problem when people get stressed or nervous).

How to Overcome Nervousness: 7 Simple Habits – Henrik Edberg, Positivity Blog (5 November 2014)

Read the full piece.

Oh, no. Exercise is good for your brain. Bugger.

We know exercise is good for cardiovascular health, but new research has also shown that a healthy heart has effects on your brain functioning as well—and exercise plays an important role in that connection. The aorta, the main artery in the body that distributes oxygenated blood to our entire system, including the brain, is where the body’s arteries begin to stiffen as we get older, according to researcher Claudine Gauthier.

How Exercise Changes Your Brain To Be Better At Basically Everything – Jane Porter, Fast Company (5 November 2014)

Read the full piece. Just don’t talk to me about it.

Briefly free: Path Input swipe keyboard for iPad

The only new iOS 8 keyboard I’m using is the TextExpander one and that’s not wonderful. The time it saves giving you access to TextExpander shortcuts is a wee bit undermined by how much harder it is to type regular text on it.

But other people like these new keyboards a lot and one in particular is now free. Download the Path Input keyboard before it returns to £2.49 and see for yourself whether it’s any good.