Pattern Weeks #5 – the conclusion(ish)

Pattern Weeks #5. (Here's #4 and if you want to hear my Secret Plan to Take Over the World, here's Pattern Weeks #1.) Now, read on. So, did it work?

No.

I'd like to say that my laying out a pattern for a typical week failed only because I haven't had a typical week in a while. This is true. Not only have I had many talks or other events but I have to factor in the day beforehand when I get paralysed with nerves and the ten minutes afterwards that I am (usually) elated. (I've done 71 gigs since records began back in late 2012 and 70 of them went brilliantly. That 1 makes my nerves churn and the 70 also make my nerves churn.)

But it really failed because I let it.

I've been more Pavlovian lately, usually when I get an iMessage: I seem to be good or at least better than I was at not reacting to emails, at not even reading emails so instantaneously, but not iMessages. It may be the red notification badge. I've switched that off on Mail but haven't seen how to do it on iMessages.

Actually, I can't see how to do it on Mail either. On my office iMac, it's bliss: no red badge unless I get an email from someone I've said is important or urgent. On my MacBook, not so much. I can choose between a red badge for everything or a no red badge for anything, I can't see how I did it in my office.

Also, by the way, I've let myself get distracted by tiny puzzles like that.

Overall, though, the problem is more that working hard is hard work. It has to be done, I want to do it, but it's still hard. Some days are harder than others. And if you think I'm now saying the most obvious thing you've ever heard, here's one to top that: I must get down to working harder.

I'm going to restart the Pattern Week – and that is one good thing about all the productivity stuff I tell you, you can pick it up and start again any time – and I'm going to get on with it.

I just felt I should be honest with you and admit failure. Not defeat, not yet, but failure.

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