That’s not Facebook introducing nearby friends as in “Have you met Ted?”. But it is something that may finally mean we no longer have to actually look up from our screens. If your friends are near enough, your phone will tell you.

Optionally.

Much as Apple’s Find My Friends feature lets you elect to be spotted by certain people, so does the forthcoming Nearby Friends. With Apple’s thing, it’s that you can say to Siri “Tell me when Angela leaves work”, which is no possible way creepy.

With Facebook’s, it’s that you can rely on it to pipe up when that pal of yours, the one you can’t remember what she looks like, comes in to the bar.

Who am I kidding? It’s never going to be a woman. No woman is going to use this. Facebook’s thing will pip up when that pal of yours, the one you can’t remember what he looks like, comes in.

He has to allow this. You have to allow this. Nothing can possibly go wrong.

Read Facebook’s own announcement of the feature for the details of how it’ll work and hints about how soon we’ll have to be switching it off.