So it’s been on my mind to tell you that when Nigel Farage made his faux resignation speech this week, I was in the House of Commons. I had it in my head to quote you a line from “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” by Mary Kay Place, where Mary insists that “I’ve been around… well, alright, I might not have been around, but I’ve been nearby.”

Only, I like that line and I don’t like talking about Farage. Plus while I did actually think he was in the same building making that speech, he was in fact half a mile away, which is a start, but not really far enough.

And then it’s also been on my mind to talk to you about someone who sent me an unsolicited article this week and said in the original email that I should know that it was not being considered anywhere else. But they’d sent it simultaneously to 20 publications.

When I pointed this out, they got a bit snotty and you could feel them trying to be patient with me. It is not being considered anywhere else, they reminded me, and they are so sorry if you’ve misunderstood reality, William.

They also clearly thought they had made some progress here because they asked me various questions and I might even have answered them, if they hadn’t used that if-sorry approach. I’m sorry if they don’t grasp that I have a delete key.

But all of this is a bit miserable and it’s a sunny day, I’m deep into writing a book I’ve been trying to sell for years, I’m finding out things for it that are so tiny that you cannot believe how happy they’re making me. Tomorrow I’ve got a day off and I’m going to a friend’s book launch. Tonight I am strongly considering curry. Next week my wife comes home from her holiday with her sister. So much is great, there is so much to look forward to and to enjoy.

Although what this heatwave does to chocolate is unforgivable.