I’ve said before that because I’m a man, if I tell you that I’m wrong and you’re right, it floors a lot of people. Love it. So does saying sorry. Same reason. Male, ego, testosterone, abs (I may not have all of that but I’m counting on how you won’t check), it all adds up to making apologies rare and therefore effective. But Lifehacker says the way you apologise matters.
It’s true. I’ve had someone say like “I apologise if you felt offended at my suggestion you could be less ugly” and I have wanted to tear a limb off them for saying such bollocks. Lifehacker’s point is that it’s more specific than not just saying something you clearly think will fob me off but you ain’t actually sorry about:
In some ways, we all communicate differently. The way I express sympathy, regret, or love might not exactly match up to yours. Let’s say I spill coffee on your shoes and dryly say, “Sorry. I’ll buy you new shoes.” That may work for some people, but others might expect a little more. Restitution might not matter as much to them as regret in an apology.
Read the full piece for how to fake – sorry, how to make your apology most effective for the person you’ve just rubbed up the wrong way.