For once I can’t give you a bit of this and then suggest you read the full piece on The Onion because this really is the full piece. An excerpt just doesn’t seem to work. So may I ask you a favour? Have a click on through to The Onion for more so that I am not blindly stealing their work for no benefit of theirs. Thanks.
Now, the story.
Coworker With Two Computer Screens Not Fucking Around
FORT WORTH, TX—Credible sources within your office reported Monday that the guy on the third floor with two computer screens on his desk is not fucking around. “Amazing—he comes in here, sits down next to me and my one sorry-ass screen, turns on his two screens, and starts tearing it up,” marketing assistant Todd Piotrowski said as the guy dragged a window from one screen to the other, which sources confirmed was like watching fucking Minority Report or something.
“He’s got three, maybe four programs open on each screen, plus some sort of group video chat running nonstop—he’s going balls to the wall over there. How is he doing all this with only one keyboard?” Piotrowski also speculated that if there’s a limit to how many tabs you can have open in your web browser at once, this guy’s gonna hit it.