Or possibly “Sisko to Ops”, depending on the specific cut of your anorak. But you will think Star Trek when you see this, exactly the way you did when you first saw a flip phone. This is a Starfleet communicator available and working now – if you live in the USA. Doubtlessly it will come to the UK, hopefully it will slim down a lot, quietly I fancy it in a Starfleet badge design and, oh, I preferred it when I was being all serious productivity with you.

The fat Starfleet Communicator – sorry, the Onyx OnBeep – only on sale in the USA and costs $99. See the official site for details.