I’m trying to see relaxation as a job. It isn’t helping yet. But I’m in that weird spot where I’d rather be working yet I don’t want to work. I eventually get into this state at some point during most holidays or breaks and it’s not a happy one because I worry that I won’t work again.

I worry that I won’t want to work again.

It’s now that you realise how much effort work is and what a mountain it always is, every day. I’m coming off the back of a year that has gone extraordinarily well in so many ways but was rock tough in others and it’s like the successes will be wiped out by the turn of the calendar where the problems will persist.

One of the problems is a rejection that was big enough to reset everything in that project. Literally back to zero though, oddly, the day after that, someone proposed an idea that would be pretty close to infinitely better. I’ll take that. But with infinite bitterness comes pretty infinite effort.

But that means one day I was tumbled down the mountain. And the next I was shown a new mountain. Normally I like a new mountain.

Right now, today, Boxing Day, I’m focused on the height of the mountain rather than the view from it so it feels like 2014 is going to be tough again.

Let it.

Let’s get to it and let’s get through to 2015 where we’ll compare scar tissue and alphabetise our blessings.