Tell me you don’t lie awake all day thinking of exactly these:<\/p>\n
Where does all the dirt come from? Archaeologists keep finding bones and pots and cities under the soil. I’m afraid to sit down. <\/p>\n
How does my iTunes library have music I’ve never heard of?<\/p>\n
Why won’t voice recognition take ‘yes’ for an answer?<\/p>\n
Was Del Boy based on Steve Ballmer or is it the other way around?<\/p>\n
How lazy do you have to be to have invented fractions in maths? Someone asks you what half of something is and you say it’s 1\/2. “Take one of it and divide it by two, that’s a half. You’re welcome.” Fractions are the maths equivalent of ikea instructions for solving a problem.<\/p>\n
Why do television news channels still preview tomorrow’s newspapers?<\/p>\n
Is it really worth strip-mining the Earth and creating a multi-billion-pound industry just so I can wrap my sandwiches in tin foil?<\/p>\n
When you book a coach with National Express, why doesn’t it check if there’s a seat until after it’s taken your credit card details? If there isn’t a seat, why doesn’t it tell you which part of your journey is full?<\/p>\n
Why are people so critical of the Conservatives when all they’ve really done wrong for the country is be in power?<\/p>\n
Why do online train booking websites ask if you’d also like to see prices and availability? Is it because trains are so expensive that the site is surprised you’re looking?<\/p>\n
Why do tea bags come in pairs?<\/p>\n
If a tree falls down in a forest and there’s no one to hear it, does it swear?<\/p>\n
In the next few days I will finish writing an enormous book, a new two-hour Doctor Who audio and a short Birmingham Rep stage play. These have occupied my life, mind and breathing totally for the year so far. What do I do now?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Tell me you don’t lie awake all day thinking of exactly these: Where does all the dirt come from? Archaeologists … Continue reading