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<\/p>\nI\u2019m reasonably sure this is true, I think I\u2019ve got this figured out. Johannes Gutenberg was a wuss. He\u2019s done the sales talk, he\u2019s got the investors, he\u2019s got really impressive and quite smelly equipment and he\u2019s standing there when someone asks if this is the printing press that will revolutionise the world.<\/p>\n
And he goes uh-huh. Nods. Gives every impression that the answer is yes, that the answer is definitely yes, this is it, we\u2019re done, I am fantastic and don\u2019t you ever doubt it.<\/p>\n
But the printing press doesn\u2019t work.<\/p>\n
It never worked.<\/p>\n
It did always look like it should if only you had the right toner cartridge. And certainly paper goes in here and comes out there unless you\u2019re doing something very stupid. You. Not it. You.<\/p>\n
From 1450 until his death in 1468, Gutenberg covered it up by hand-writing every book in existence. Many, many times. You\u2019ve got to give the guy some credit for patience, diligence and exceptionally clear handwriting, but you can\u2019t give him credit for the printing press because it never bloody worked.<\/p>\n
If he were alive today, he\u2019d be so relieved that it was all over. For here\u2019s my printer. I had to search the house for it and I\u2019m only surprised that I didn\u2019t find yours at the same time.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
For one brief moment this week, I thought I needed to print out something official. I didn\u2019t, I was able to open the PDF I was sent, add a signature to it and send it back as PDF without taking my hands off my Mac\u2019s keyboard, but for a moment there, I thought I did. So began Day One of the hunt for the printer and later this week on Day 417, I found it up there on a high shelf.<\/p>\n
There is a part of me that wants to get it down, to plug it in to the mains and to not plug it into my Mac because it\u2019s supposed to be a wireless printer.<\/p>\n
But then the rest of me remembers that the wireless bit was a joke and that anyway, this is a printer.<\/p>\n
Printers never work because they never have.<\/p>\n
If Gutenberg were alive today, he\u2019d be busted. I’m just saying.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I\u2019m reasonably sure this is true, I think I\u2019ve got this figured out. Johannes Gutenberg was a wuss. He\u2019s done … Continue reading