Oh, yes. I am a god. Nope, I thought if I said it here as well as in the title you might not snigger. But when we’re done today, you are going to change your mind. Yes. You won’t snigger any more. You’ll laugh aloud.

Here’s the thing. By the time you read this, I’ll be back at home but for the last week I’ve been on holiday in the Canary Islands. Now, we just wanted sun and we just wanted to stop working for a bit, so we went for a particularly laid back and simple option which has worked very well.

It’s just that everyone else who’s opted for this option right now appears to be in their 70s or 80s.

Let’s just focus on this for a moment. I’m early fifties so I am the youngest man here.

Plus I’m a writer which you know is both a job and a life choice but some people still think is impressive.

So for this week, I am both the hottest and the coolest man around.

Now, I know I say that and you immediately wonder just how wrinkly everyone else must be. And you’re thinking about the bar staff who don’t look old enough to drink but stop that, stop being clever, just let me tell you that I am basking in this.

We’ve a few moments until we have to finish packing and leave. So I’m just going to go down to the pool for one last time to let everyone swoon at my three-pack.